Today when my husband went to pick up Z & E from preschool, his preschool teacher asked him why he was biting his nails (as the hubs was helping him put his shoes on). Z decided to tell his preschool teacher that, “Mommy doesn’t cut them, so I have to bite them.”

My jaw dropped when my husband told me that, so I asked him if he explained to the teacher that Z has been biting his nails for the past few months and that because they’re always so chewed off we can’t cut them. The hubs just kinda shrugged and said he didn’t say anything. Great, I thought! Another list of things to clarify next time I see the preschool teacher so that she doesn’t think I’m some kind of delinquent mom who doesn’t take care of her kids!

Later on, all 5 of us were in the car when we picked up the kids’ babysitter from downtown to give her a ride home. E wouldn’t let her in the car (even though she loves our babysitter), and when the babysitter asked her why she wouldn’t let her in, E replied with “You’re too big to fit in the car.” If our babysitter was a waif-thin model, I wouldn’t think twice about this comment. Our babysitter, however, is a woman’s woman, if you know what I mean, so my cheeks turned bright red, and I gave E “the look” while nervously smiling at our babysitter and trying to excuse her behavior. “Ya know, kids.. they say the darndest things.”

A couple days ago when we were at my husband’s grandparents’ house, Z was sitting next to me staring at his great-grandpa across the table and decided to blurt out, “You must have eaten a lot of candy, and that’s why you only have one tooth.”

I wanted to disappear right there and then. How do I teach him that it’s not nice to comment on people’s (lack of) teeth???

Another time when we were walking with some friends, Ella decided to ask me in a voice 50 decibels too loud, “Why is that woman’s butt so big?” and pointed with her finger toward the buttocks she was referring to. Ground, open up and swallow me whole!

I know kids don’t mean any harm with their comments, but it’s their blatant honesty (and sometimes dishonesty) that can make us parents squirm in our seats and turn our cheeks beet red. It seems as if now that my kids are older this “embarrassment” is happening more and more often. Seriously, with 3 young kids, I’m going to have 3 times the uncomfortable comments, 3 times the uncomfortable laughs, 3 times the excuses and apologies to make…. why God, why???

Do your kids ever embarrass you with their comments?